trying my best

So yes, my life is complicated and no, I don’t have a clue what I am doing, but I am doing the best I can. I have cut my work schedule down to two days a week (12 hour shifts), I am going to school (which is hard with all my current distractions), and I am doing everything in my best power to be the best mom I can. I was put in charge of my husband’s money, VA deemed him as incompetent, but in light of the way things have been he says that he got it changed. Did he really I don’t know, but if he did I can’t afford this place on my own right now esp not with all the bills he had failed to pay. I am going to go to the VA on Friday and find out so I can plan accordingly. So anyways, I have made changes in my life to help me cope. I have switched to cloth diapers for my son. Yes they cost more up front, but in the long run could save me money, plus we will not be contributing to the landfill. We are on day 3 of it and oddly using cloth excites me. I am using Charlie banana cloth diapers, and they are so easy and work extremely well. I know nothing about cloth diapers, a friend of mine has been using them since day one and these are what she recommended. Within 5 minutes of trying them out my son decided to test my ability and pooped, we made it through it. I work in the hospital, I wipe asses for a living a little bit of my son’s poop is not going to scare me. He seems to like them and be comfortable in them. We were using huggies before (and his baby sitter will still be) and I loved them, but the material on them seemed to fuzz up and come off leaving little pieces of fuzz around my house, plus everything stuck to those diapers. I am breastfeeding my son. I get judged for this a lot, he is 9 months old, a big boy, and has 8 teeth. I am so tired of the looks people give me, yes we are still breastfeeding, he is only 9 months for goodness sake. The recommend that you breastfeed until at least 1. Yes, he has bitten me and yes it hurts, but it is not an all the time thing and he does not do it purposely. When did we become such a judgmental society that using cloth diapers and breastfeeding gets me criticized and disgusted looks? I know that my head and my thoughts seem to be all over the place right now and truly they are, I am working through a substantial amount of things, but I am strong and I will make it through and me and my children will be better because of it.