Drive By

So I saw my husband in passing the other day.  I turned my car around and followed him.  He stopped at a gas station and then drove to Wal-Mart.  There is no way he was up to any good, no way he drove over an hour to go to Wal-Mart, when there is one significantly closer to him.  He also had a guy in the car, who I am sure thinks I am completely crazy, god knows what my husband has told him.  I told my husband to get out of town, part because I was mad and part because he has two warrants in this county, how dumb can he be.  Just seeing him made my blood boil.  How can he be so ignorant and selfish that he is giving up his family to do dumb things.  Can the drugs and life of crime really be that much more appealing than me and the kids?  What could I have done to keep him clean, could anything I could have done honestly saved him?  Sometimes I consider texting him, but I know that will only lead to lies and manipulation from him which will only hurt more instead of helping.  Is there anything left for me to even hold on to? He has 3 warrants out for his arrest. Yes, I said 3.  The first one because he hasn't paid child support on his son in years and its only $70 a month, one because he worked for a meat company back in 2006 and he stole all the meat out of the truck and just left the empty truck outside, and then the one for domestic violence, because he thought it was ok to choke me while I held our baby.  He is looking at jail time and lord knows how much.  And on top of the jail time there is trust, honestly, and loyalty he has broken with me and the kids.  I am close with my family and staying with him would create a wedge with them. I just don't know what reasonable kind of life we could have, but I do love my husband and don't really know how to let him go.  All the damage my husband has done will take years to repair and honestly I don't see him willing to put in the effort to fix anything.  The drugs have destroyed the man I love, or maybe he turns to the drugs to live with the person he is.  Maybe this is just who he is and the drugs are just merely an excuse.